IF PIGS COULD FLY AND OTHER IMPORTANT ISSUES OF THE DAY

If they could, the Globe would be right on top of it with their crack animal investigative team.  This week the Globe reported (in large type) that a pig was euthanized.  You might ask why--and, as usual, I am here to provide answers.  The male bovine attacked his owners seriously enough that they were hospitalized.  Yikes. Big Globe story number two:  "the cost of dog-bite claims continues to rise".  Really?  I have not even scratched the surface and have to hold myself back from making this only about Globe animal stories. Meanwhile, their once excellent sports section does not even carry scores outside of the Eastern time zone.

What I will stop until after Labor Day is writing about the Donald--except of course for this one itsty bitsy tiny item.  Today's front page of the Times features a long piece about his relationship with women.  This was mainly how he both employs them in very visible serious places but, at the same time, de-humanizes them by saying out loud at meetings things about their looks, how hot they are, and how much they weigh.  I quit on this shit until the end of the summer.  By the way, a great piece in last week's times about why "Texas is just so Texas".  A confession while on the topic of the Times:  I cheat on the crossword puzzle but please do not cancel your subscription to this blog.  I cannot help myself.

I cannot stand self congratulatory events.  You know the ones where we all slap each other on the back on account of how wonderful we are and how great it is to work here.  My synagogue just went through this process and I wanted to puke.  We hired a senior Rabbi who happens to be a woman and are saying good bye to the previous person who is retiring.  We are just terrific and are a role model for other synagogues and whoopee do.  Except for the fact that most of the folks who contributed money (oh yeah, there was a fund raising piece to all this shit) never show up at services except for holidays.  Their money apparently is their "observance".  Good luck with that.

Odds and Ends:

--My nervousness has increased about the November election.  We have decided to give money to tight Senate races in hopes that minimally the Dems can take back the Senate.  Among those states are:  NH, Illinois, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Nevada, and Minnesota.  One can only hope.
--Senator McCain's son is apparently married to an African American woman and has blasted fellow Republican critics who object to bi-racial ads.  These critics have too much idle time to object to every fucking thing.  Good for the Senator's son.
--BTW, there is an Old Navy ad which, among other couples, features two women who are obviously the parents of two gorgeous twins.
--We can all write off NC in the fall because they will all be in bathrooms checking anyone who might be using the wrong one.
--MGH. one of the Partner hospitals and the biggest one in the state, has been roundly defeated recently as it tried to buy up more hospitals in this state.  So, it set its sights north and bought a hospital in NH--live free or die, I always say.  Children's Hospital got in on the buying binge and bought itself a pediatric practice located north of NYC in the burbs.  Each hospital argues that bigger means cheaper care which in most cases simply is not true and in many cases the opposite is true--it ends up costing more.
--The city of Austin is in a pissing match with Uber and Lyft.  A close relative of mine who lives there says it is a complicated situation but even though she uses those services, she felt they were not on the side of the angels on this one.  So a city vote kicked them to the curb.

SPORTS TALK
Ever see Arnoldis Chapman pitch?  I know now why I quit Pony League when I was 14.  I could not hit and was scared shitless of the pitchers.  This Chapman threw 15 pitches when I was watching and none was under 95 mph--a couple were measured at 100.  I would have dug a hole and jumped in.  The NBA lottery is this week--go Celts.

Adios